call me random...

Yeah, that's what I said to a friend of mine when I told him what I'm about to tell here...

Last week I posted something related to the future, choosing careers and all that!
I mentioned Literature, Math... and I don't remember if I mentioned Bio careers and I'm too lazy to read that again now... but I always wanted to become a doctor!
Since I can't, cause the med schools are always expensive, why not do something related to it?
That's why I've decided to go to Biology! Yeah! \o/
Or Pharmacy, I'm still thinking but definitely it's something like this!!!!

Just can't wait!

Mmm today I'm going to Gui's house for a bit... by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARKZITO!!!!
Yesterday was his birthday!!

Then I'll meet some Britney fans as usual in the last saturday of the month!

xoxo

At the Moment: Splender - Space Boy

yeah right...

Last night I had a dream...
It's been a long time since I had one of those dreams that you don't want to wake up... and normally I don't remember my dreams... why do we have to remember the best ones? Why do the best ones always hurt more?
Anyway, I was at a friend's house that didn't look like his actual house.
There were two guys with us... One I couldn't see and the other was talking to me... and we ended up making out and it felt like we knew each other for a long time...
From that bedroom a lot of flashes happened... we were at a park, walking on the street, in parties...
And there was one situation that I remember quite well...
We were in a sort of game... standing in the crowd in our seats... my dad was with us! :S
And there was a man who tried to mock us and my dad stood by us! This is very hard to believe because I don't think my dad will ever stand for my boyfriend and I (when I get one). That was so beautiful...
We got out of that place and we were just walking and it felt like that day in the bedroom happened loooong ago. And we were still together...

I woke up suddenly and the first words that came to my mouth were: "it could only be a dream..." =/

I couldn't sleep anymore and I came to work... This dream's stuck in my mind since I opened my eyes...

And you know what's even more stuck in my mind? The guy in the dream seemed to really like me... it felt good...

=/

At the Moment: The Beatles - Let It Be

reflections of the fears I know I've left behind...

I just watched the last episode of Queer as Folk!

That serie left its mark on me, definitely!
I started watching it in a tough time and I remember seing no hope on tomorrow!
Time's the best thing for these situations... look where I've found myself today!

I mean, I'm not down on the ground as I used to be...

I believe I've reconected myself with the true ME in these past 8 months...
I understand some things better... I accept some things better...
I grew a lot...
And at the same time, I still think there's yet a LOT to learn. There'll always be!
I'm not the half man I intend to be!

I got really emotional watching the end of the serie... I always get emotional with these kind of things...
I'm such a crier... If I could I wouldn't even be me when someday I need to face a sort of goodbye or anything like that...
But I like that... it means I'm able to feel things in my heart... even when they're fantasy!

There's this song... it's called Proud. It plays in the first and in the last episode of the serie... and I really feel like it's a part of me... it's in my heart and in my mind... and it goes like this:

"I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I'm on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know (there are so many answers)
Realize that to question is how we grow (to question is to grow)
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I'm on my way
Can't stop me now
You can do the same (yeah)

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?"

I'm feeling strange, don't know how to put it into words...
I want some time away... =/

At the Moment: Heather Small - Proud

It's so supernatural... now everything's beautiful...

Four facts:

1 - I know the world's beautiful... who doesn't?
It's everywhere we look, everywhere we touch...

2 - People are grateful for the life they live and all the good things they experience... I fit in this category because I'm grateful for everything I've done so far!

3 - The dreamy guy I am... the old fashioned believer...

Joining #2 and #3: 4 - I believe there's something more.

The "place" I went last night...
that's the world as we all should see it...
In my first trip, I should say the world weren't as bright as I thought it would be in the first time...
But it felt good...
While I was there I loved every tiny bit of everything I touched... and I loved myself in a way I never did before!
What's on the other side of the mirror?
The scariest you get, the more teasing it appears to be...
The room's twisted and it calls you in the most appealing way...

I never saw so many stars... and the sky never melted... and was never that blue!

"If nobody is everybody, then someone could be anybody..."

I surely was...
and even if it weren't as bright as I thought, I know it's only a matter of time and oportunity... cause when I laid my head in my pillow this morning, the universe was sending me a message:

"the bright lights are here... so come and get them..."

I surely will...

honestly ok

I had never listened to that song by Dido... it's from her first cd and it's the one I hear less...
Anyway, lyrics are coming...

This week had NOTHING special... I worked, I read, I slept a lot...
And that's it...
The weekend has something special but I don't know what it is cause my friends refuse to tell me... :S
I'm listening to Les Miserables soundtrack... there was a song from the musical in Dawson's Creek but I never downloaded the whole thing... and it turned out to be great...

Mmm, I thought a lot about my future this week...
About college and careers... I dunno what to do, really!
I mean, I'm only in this e-commerce stuff because of the money! I don't really like it... I wanna do something I'm passionate with... if not in bio area, I'd probably go with Math or Literature...
I love Math but I don't see myself teaching Math...
And about Literature... I LOVE to read, u might have noticed... and I can see myself teaching young minds how to be less empty... I would really feel my words as I teach... and I wanted to write for a living... but I don't know if I'm good in it... =/

Choosing a life is too hard...

Now the lyrics to Honestly Ok:

"I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin

And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again..."

xoxo

At the Moment: Original London Cast (Les Miserables) - Love Montage

another sunny day has come and gone away...

Yeah, pretty depressing but I love that song...

easter sunday just gave a start to a whole new week... wich I'll probably work my ass off again and won't do anything different...

Yesterday I went to Fefa's, fixed her PC and then we watched a movie from Thailand... not that great...
And today, went to gram's for lunch!

Mmm, I have nothing important to say, I don't even know why I'm posting...

xoxo

At The Moment: Jim Sturgess - Strawberry Fields Forever

Happy Easter!!!

yeaaaah, chocolate!!!

Gee, we should really pay some respect by Jesus death and ressurection but all we do is cheer for chocolate... worst nation's sin...

Anyway, just came from my aunt's house... had the usual fish there and then watched Across the Universe...
I'm home now, but I have NOTHING important to do... oh actually, I do... arrange the stuff under my brother's bed and then take it out the bedroom!!! Believe me, there's a LOT of things under his bed...
Mmm, I wanted to go out tonight... but I won't...
Tomorrow morning I'll buy paints... and then spend the day watching series...

I'm pretty bored... but the weather's getting cold... and it's almost saturday... I could only ask for a capuccino right now... and a good movie...

how random! :S

Oh oh oh!!!!!! Giu and I are doing a duet!!! *____* can't wait!!!

I guess that's it...

Lusting for some inspiration...

xoxo

At the Moment: Forgive Durden - Life Is Looking Up

try and pluck the pearl from your bones...

Heeeey everyone!!!

The stuff for the bedroom's all set!!! YEEEEEY!!!
This weekend I'll probably be painting the walls and getting it all done til the furniture arrives!!! Fefa will help me out!!
Nothing special (as usual - I'm getting pretty pissed off that my life's so boring in the moment!) is happening... I'm still working overtime as much as I can... and I spent some money that I shouldn't again, so MORE BILLS... I'll work my way out of this again!!!
Goals for May: my new PC, the bedroom done and the gym!
I dunno if the gym will be possible but I'll do my best, I really want to go back!

I finally downloaded and bought Razia's Shadow A Musical by Forgive Durden... I had never listened to it before but I knew the story since november and it was very interesting... but I didn't find it to download before and now that I did, well I said I bought it, right? It's AWESOME!!!!
Thomas Dutton's sooooo cuuuute!! His voice's amazing!!!
And there are some quotes in the song that OMG, I nearly fainted!

Mmm, guess that's it!!!

xoxo

At the Moment: Forgive Durden - The Missing Piece

but you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

I was always the good friend...

At least that's what they all tell me... I must say I don't trust people that much anymore. The world's too cold... But I have those ones I trust!
After some stuff that happened to me, after losing my faith in people while raising my faith in love, overall I'm not safe!

I'm still that dreamer... I still believe in the simple things... I believe the sun will always shine upon our heads in the next day! So I try to live life fully...
I came to think our life's like a subway track... our destiny is already there... you have your life line and you must follow it! Sometimes we need to switch tracks, but we gotta follow that line!

I always wanted to have someone special...
I had, actually... once... that no longer exists and gladly, I can say I'm free of something I thought it was great... but in the end of the day, it wasn't... there were too many changes.
It was in the subway, with a friend, that I painted the picture of how I see my life years from now!

Years from now I'll have my own apartment, with my mini library and my mini office and that cozy armchair... After a long day at work, I'll go grab a bite in some place, then probably visit a bookstore and buy some books I'm interested in or a movie... then walk through the city lights having the troubled thoughts I usually have...
And then go home... and if somebody rings my doorbell at 23 PM, he or she will probably catch me having a capuccino reading one of my many books...
And being the cool guy I always was...

That vision makes me feel good... I feel relieved...
and it makes me feel kind of lonely...

Through the past 4 years I learned a lot...
I learned that good friends are like family... and you must keep the ones you love!
I learned that family is really important... and you notice that harder when you start to say goodbye to the ones you're related to...
And I learned that love is built... that love at first sight is rare...

As I think those things, I ask myself:

Am I switching cars in my life line? What's happening to the man I knew?

Maybe that changes... and then I'll switch tracks again... maybe I'll really get my special someone...
Or maybe I'll keep on following the track I'm in now and 60 years from now I'll catch myself thinking:

"Yeah... I was always the good friend..."

At the Moment: The Cranberries - Just My Imagination

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